老外直言：怎样与老外交朋友

miami · 发表于 2008-9-30 22:25:56

Just the other day, I was in a bookshop and spotted a volume entitled How to Make Friends with Foreigners by Li Yang of Crazy English fame.Naturally, as a foreigner who has been living in China for a year, I was curious to see what kind of advice a Chinese writer was giving on this matter.

One piece of advice really grabbed my attention and, I must say, made me feel quite annoyed.In Li\'s opinion, foreigners are an“opportunity”to improve your oral English; whenever you see a foreigner, you should practice speaking English to him/her. The writer goes on to say that if the foreigner doesn\'t want to answer your questions, then he/she is a rude person who you wouldn\'t want to spend time with anyway.I think this counsel is not only incorrect, but also potentially damaging to relations between Chinese and foreigners in China. Like most other laowai living in China, I know how isolated one can sometimes feel living amid a culture far removed from our own familiar ways. However, most of the time this cultural isolation is something I simply accept as part of being here. I am, after all, here to learn about the people and the language of China and if I really hated this place then I would go home! So far my time in China has been very rewarding. I have improved my Chinese language skills, learnt about one of the most fascinating, swiftly developing countries in the world today and made some very close Chinese friends.

Unfortunately, I have also come across many Chinese people who view me purely as an“opportunity”to improve their oral English under the guise of making friends. I have experienced people following me home from town to my college flat and then harassing me to teach them English or practice English with them. I have had complete strangers thrusting articles, manuals and speeches in my face, insisting that I help them with the English translation. I have had people asking me to assist with immigration applications to other countries. All of these people have claimed at the time that what they chiefly wanted was to make friends with me. There was even one person at the weekly English Corner that I run at college who, after plying me with non-stop questions for half an hour, became very angry when I politely asked him to give other people a chance to speak. He puffed himself up like a peacock and informed me that he was simply trying to be my friend.

He may well have thought he was trying to be my friend, butswheresI come from you don\'t build friendships by pestering and badgering another person. Friendship for a lot of Westerners is about spending time with someone whose company you genuinely enjoy.It\'s not about opportunities or personal advantage.The Chinese friends I have made while living here have been genuine friends to me; we enjoy each other\'s company for its own sake.In this way, we\'ve not only learnt a good deal about each other\'s culture but also about each other as individuals.

I\'m not suggesting that you shouldn\'t approach foreigners at all. However, I do think that it\'s important to question your own motives. If you truly want to make friends with someone from a different country, who could possibly object?On the other hand, if your only motive is to“use”the foreigner as a way of improving your English, then it\'s quite likely that the foreigner will be able to see through you - and will definitely not want to spend time with you.

So if there\'s any advice to give on making and keeping friendships with foreigners, I would say that it is this:Treat foreigners as people, not opportunities.Expect to make friendships gradually, over a period of time, not instantly. And don\'t ply foreigners with lots and lots of disparate questions. At times, this approach comes across as confusing and unnatural.

Finally, I would suggest that if you really want to make friends with a foreigner, then you do so because you are genuinely interested in the person. We all know that true friendships stand the test of time. If your only reason for making friends with a foreigner is to upgrade your English, then you will probably find that you don\'t have a foreign friend for long!

miami · 发表于 2008-10-1 12:10:51

为何你有创业的欲望？你真的想为自己工作吗？走上创业这条路一定要有正面的理由，更要有自信能满足市场的需求。自己创业确实让很多人实现理想，可是对另一些人却往往导致破产，精神崩溃及至走上自我毁灭的不归路。
　　在创业之前你必须了解是否具备成功的条件，一般成功创业者的条件包括：

　　自律、自动自发、识人能力、管理技能、想象力、口才、毅力、乐观、奉献精神、积极人生观、客观、推销产品（服务）的能力、独立作业的能力、追求利润的方法。

　　当你确定自己适合创业后，你不必急着马上走上创业这条路，还必须先评估一下你的创业计划是否可行再说。你可以探索以下一些问题：

　　1、你能否用语言清淅地描述出你的创业构想？

　　你应该能用很少的文字将你的想法描述出来。根据成功者的经验，不能将这想法变成自己的语言的原因大概也是一个警告--你还没有仔细地思考吧。

　　2、你真正了解你所从事的行业吗？

　　许多行业都要求选用从事过这个行业的人，对其行业内的方方面面有所了解。否则，你就得花费很多的时间和精力去调查诸如价格、销售、管理费用、行业标准、竞争优势等等。

　　3、你看到过别人使用过这种方法吗？

　　一般来说，一些经营红火的公司的经营方法比那些特殊的想法更具有现实性。有经验的企业家中流行这样一句名言："还没有被实施的好主意往往可能实施不了。"

　　4、你的想法经得起时间的考验吗？

　　当未来的企业家的某项计划真正得以实施时，他会感到由衷的兴奋。但过了一个星期、一个月甚至半年之后，将是什么情况？它还那么令人兴奋吗？或已经有了完全不同的另外一个想法来代替它？

　　5、你的设想是为自己还是为别人？

　　你是否打算在今后5年或更长时间内，全身心地投入到这个计划的实施中去？

　　6、你有没有一个好的网络？

　　开始办企业的过程，实际上就是一个组织诸如供货商、承包商、咨询专家、雇员的过程。为了找到合适的人选，你应该有一个服务于你的个人关系网。否则，你有可能陷入不可靠的人或滥竽充数的人之中。

　　7、明白什么是潜在的回报？

　　每个投资创业，其最主要的目的就是赚最多的钱。可是，在尽快致富的设想中隐含的决不仅仅是钱。你还要考虑成就感、爱、价值感等潜在回报。如果没有意识到这一点，那就必须重新考虑你的计划。

　　经过自我分析后证明你适合创业，同时你也能正确回答上述的几个问题，那么你创业成功的胜算将会很高，你可以决定着手去创业。但是创业也并不是你一时冲动所决定的，如果创业前你举棋不定，最好还是选择工作这条路。因为，尽管你现在有机会创业，你的动机不错，想法也很棒，但是基于市场、经济能力、或家庭等因素的考虑，现在也许不是你创业的好时机。

　　总之，你创业必须要有相当的竞争力，而且只有你自己才能决定怎么做最恰当。

　　成事不易，创业更难。选择创业这条路，自然而然地你会憧憬成功的景象，而不会想到万一失败的问题---因为一开始就想到失败，未免太消极也太不吉利了。然而，往坏处打算尽管令人不愉快，却是创业之初应该考虑清楚的

jimy店长 · 发表于 2008-10-6 09:17:55

恩　学习下难得的资料　谢谢楼住分享

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